


Entanglement of Love

by derp2lol (Ihere), Ihere



Series: PoliceForcestuck [16]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Attempted Murder, F/M, Growing Up, Mild Sexual Content, Psychic Abilities, So hard, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-27
Updated: 2012-11-30
Packaged: 2017-11-15 04:13:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/523016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ihere/pseuds/derp2lol, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ihere/pseuds/Ihere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How is a blue blood like Vriska supposed to grow up? It's not an easy task.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

What is the first memory people have? How long ago was it? It’s suppose most people can remember back when they were three or four or five if they try their best. But those are the humans. The trolls seem to have the ability to remember parts of their lives from the moment they hatch from the caverns. Troll history and biology explains that it helped the trolls remember the ‘trials’ they faced as grubs to help mold their future decisions. While not every troll remembers what happens right after they hatched, you recall more than you would ever care to.

For starters, you felt something that you were too young to describe at the time. Sensations that filled you up and made you want to run around biting and scratching everything. Later you recognize the emotion of anger. Rage. Fury. The grub’s body system fills with adrenaline to face the ‘trials’ that would be immediately faced. When the trolls landed on Earth and the humans ‘encouraged’ their own morals on them, the aftereffects were not fully considered. So what does a newly hatched grub with no way to rid of their adrenaline do? 

They fight everything. 

Which is exactly what you did.

You use your newly developed horns to crack open your eggshell. Your eyes slowly blink away the goo as you take in the cavern. Hundreds of thousands of other little grubs are doing their best to get out of their own shell. Some that make it drop far below, others couldn’t even open their shells. The lucky few that managed to stay in their broken shell are picked off the ceiling by adult trolls. 

You remember them being the most beautiful creatures at first glance. The one that picks you off had dark, dazzling green eyes that examined you as she pulls you away. She transfers you off to a line with other female trolls carrying other grubs of different colors. You try to bite her face off, but she only restrains you in her arms. You crane back behind to see other trolls disposing of the failed grubs. 

Looking back into this memory, you realized that some of the trolls destroyed some grubs of bright red color, but they didn’t even look like most of the other grubs. But the most surprising of all was a tiny grub that rested in the arms of a troll and stared straight up at his caretaker. She immediately dropped the grub to the floor as she held her head in agonizing pain. The grub scurried away, but not too far as a different troll smashed it under her foot; releasing the pained troll.

And you didn’t understand any of it.

You decide to turn back to your vessel to see her staring straight ahead, but she notices your look and squints down. “No funny business out of you, right?” You don’t know how to respond. “Of course not.”

A troll ahead of you starts a conversation, “You’re not going to get the grub to talk yet, Mazalik.”

“Mind your own business Giteck. I’m still jumpy from that blasted grub that forced the stalactite to fall and nearly kill me. I enjoyed smashing the little horror.”

“You get a psychic in every batch. Don’t let it spoil the others.”

“I know. Hatching season is just stressful like always.”

The other troll hums, “Agree, but what else can we do? Oh, did you hear about Teavick getting another half-blood?”

“She gets the worst luck, but I heard the Head Mothers are debating her career.”

“They’ll do anything to keep the Mother Grub from losing credit. Easier to say a caretaker fucked up then to say the Mother Grub chose the genetic material of a human and troll that fucked.”

“Shush. Athag might hear.” The other troll turns around with her grub to the line where you wait again. 

Your troll brings you to the front of the line where a troll, presumably the oldest, looks at your body and presents a number to your troll. She hauls you through a corridor within the cavern where you see many different types of rooms. All containing grubs of similar colors. Some are packed with maroon grubs containing only a few troll caretakers. Then there are others that are less filled, but more trolls. And finally your room that is half filled with enough guardians. However you are able to look ahead to rooms with more caretakers than trolls. She settles you down with the other grubs and injects you with a calming serum. Afterwards she returns to her other work. 

You spend your first sweep there. Growing up and learning basic behavior and motor skills. After a ‘year,’ as the humans call them, your troll body emerges from your grub form. The process is painful, bursting out of a skin shell, but you purge through it with grinding teeth as the caretakers watch you. The rest of the sweep is used to adapt you to your new body. In the end, the caretakers take you to a door leading to the wilderness. 

“This is where you’ll find you lusus,” one of them tells your blood class. “As you head out we’ll give you your symbol and then you’re on your own. If you die from hunger, thirst or another lusus kills you, then you’re dead. We’re not here to help you anymore. Now come up for your symbol; there’s no turning back now.” She holds a bundle of black tee shirts ready. You watch as others ahead of you get their own symbols and run off in various directions. When you reach the front, you’re not sure if you’re ready. 

You turn up to the caretaker, she looks down on you, “Don’t be a disappointment. This symbol is chosen for you by the stars. Your lusus will give you your name and shape your life. Here.” You’re given your first article of clothing that completely belongs to you and you alone. A simple, black shirt with a cerulean colored M with a speared end on the right. You turn back to the barren waste land awaiting you. “Go to the Land of the Lusus.” You take the first steps of your life.

After a whole day of wandering around and avoiding low blood lusus, your journey comes to an end. At first you thought you’d been fucked, you had slipped into an underground trap. With only the hole as a source of light, and you then see a gigantic spider lusus in front of you. Your first instinct is to flee but you’re trapped in a web. You hold your breath as the lusus brings its jaws close to you. It sniffs you a little before backing off. And somehow a mental connection is made between the two of you. No one is able to explain the feeling to someone who has not experienced it, but it is one of the most intense sensations anyone could feel. It is a joy some trolls have that no other creature can take away. This is your lusus. Your guardian though life.

You continue to watch your own lusus, and life immediately starts to be clearer.

Your name is Vriska Serket and you are now making your journey to your new home traveling beside your lusus. You’re completely nervous on how to behave. Sure you belong with each other and many things have become more understandable, but your ‘spidermom’ did try to eat you a few minutes ago. Should you stay cautious? Give a friendly pat? The caretakers never told you enough apparently. 

You look back at your lusus; she seems dead set on one particular location. You wonder if you could ride on her back. You’re tired and you’ve seen other trolls do it. Cautiously, you lift a hand toward her direction. The spider lusus stops immediately and stares you down dismissing your idea. You go back to walking in silence.

In many ways, you have a smart lusus. She picked a large abandoned building with an abyss nearby for her to slumber. Some food, water and furniture within the structure. Not many other trolls live around. After growing up surrounded by them, you could use a break. 

You spend some time exploring your hive, your settlement. There’s not much to do except dream and listen to your lusus. Occasionally a troll looking for their lusus will wander around to be captured by your lusus. You stopped watching her eat after the first experience.

You’re going to need to find some trolls on your own soon. Your lusus keeps nagging you to find her live trolls. She can’t continue to survive on the few trolls that wander into her path. 

Well you suppose she could, but this is her test for you. A chance to prove that you’re good enough to be her troll. Tough enough. The thought of harming another troll hasn’t occurred to you since you hatched. You don’t think this sort of action is necessary. Spidermom seems capable enough on her own. Are you even good enough? You remember the other trolls you passed by, when they got their lusus they looked confident. Pleased. Like there is no doubt in their mind that they are with the right lusus. You turn down to your lusus in the abyss; she gives a menacing glare before returning to an old meal. She doesn’t look at you like you’re worthy. You aren’t worthy, and you know the consequences. Can you take the chance and kill another troll? All in all it will delay the time until you are unable to find her food. You honestly can’t see this lasting as a permanent solution. She’ll just get hungrier, and you’ll just get more tired.

But. But what if you get better? What if you prove to be the best troll you can be? The best troll she has ever had? Perhaps you can do it. You can succeed and live to your potential. 

If anything has become clear at this point, it’s that you have to at least try to kill a troll.

The task is simple enough. You pack enough food for a few days and head out to a hopefully close troll. You plan to lure them in with promises of food or excitement. A simple trick. The target will hopefully be easy. 

You walk out to the plains. The sun is still high, but very isolated in the area. You take a break beside a small pond and bring water up to your face. When the water stills, you see yourself for the first time. There was no reflective material before in your life as the caretakers didn’t find it necessary and your hive dull. So you just . . assumed you looked like the others. How wrong you were.

You tentatively bring a hand to your left eye. Seven pupils? What sort of mutation or trait is this? Then an idea comes to you, what if this connects you to your lusus? You both have eight pupils. Maybe you are compatible with your lusus. With greater confidence, you return on your search.

However, smoke rises back in the direction where your hive is. No one else is nearby. You run as fast as your legs can back.

It takes too long to get there. By the time you reach your destination fire has engulfed your hive. Strange creatures clad in rubber armor carry guns that breathe fire. They shoot the flames down into the abyss, and you can hear your lusus scream. 

You cry out running to save her. One of the creatures pulls you from behind and wraps its hands around your body. “Is that your lusus?” You don’t look up at its covered face but rather stare at the fire as your tears stream down. “I’ll take that as a yes. It’s okay. We have somewhere for you to stay.” You do your best to tear away to no avail. “Stop it. There is no hope for that monster now.”

Spidermom tries to climb away snarling at all the creatures. They back away but more flames shoot her. Your lusus starts to tremble and sway under the pressure until she falls back into the abyss.

Another creature walks up to your captor, “Sir, the level Eight monster is dead.” You gasp loudly feeling immense pain. “Is this the troll?”

“Yes Lewis. Hold her while I dispose of the trash.” It hands you to its associate bastard. 

The new creature holds you gently and kneels to your level, “It’s okay now. You’ll be alright.” It lies to you! Look at this beast lie straight to your face! “Blue blood huh? I know families that’ll love to have you.” It removes its helmet, and it’s the strangest animal you’ve ever seen. Almost troll-like, but without horns, grey skin, sharp teeth, or yellow eyes. 

“What are you?”

‘He’ smirks, “I guess you’ve never seen a human before. Sorry that this is your first experience. We’ll take you to a care house in Skaia. Then you won’t have to be all alone. Are you okay? Tired? Hungry? Thirsty?”

It dawns upon you that you’ll never be able to prove yourself. You’ve failed the test without a real chance.

“What’s your name?” he asks.

You puke all over his chest.


	2. Chapter Two

With the influx of troll orphans a solution had to be made. Every sweep, or year, multiple trolls ended up without any lusus because they either: failed to find one, another lusus killed theirs, or their lusus was too deadly to pass human standards. Because the humans decided to take up the task of killing the dangerous lusus, they are forbidden from entering the reservations; the humans also decided the ultimate solution to help the trolls. Buildings grew around the outskirts of cities and towns called care houses, because humans care. The care houses are ordered to be separate from human orphanages because even though they are essentially the same, humans and trolls found that idea disgusting. Mixing the two species to grow up together and learn to understand each other, how ridiculous. Thus the creation of care houses.

However more problems arose for both species as the techniques for destroying lusus improved. Care houses began to over fill and resources dithered. The only sensible solution that would prevent: trolls from starving within the care houses and admitting that the humans made a poor solution, is to quicken the adoption process. 

The usual human adoption system can take years before a child can be retrieved. That was the first idea for the trolls, but with the number increasing far beyond accepting, the process can now take from a week to a month. Barren couples, or trolls, are able to use this system to their own purpose instead of waiting, but some humans still prefer a ‘pure' human orphan. And as many can imagine the system created many complications as a result. One man was found adopting only to create an underworld labor force. This sea dweller continuously adopted adolescences only to abandon them when she became bored. A woman used many young trolls to care for her in her weakened state. A troll used them for his . . . sexual ideals. And a man taught his to steal for him. Many cases like these continued, and they could easily be solved. But the trolls were taught to look out for themselves, and the humans ‘should mind their own species.’ 

Personally, you think you could handle stealing from others to survive considering what you got. 

You spent one month inside the care house of Skaia before she found you.

Her name was Amelia Vine. Devine as the young boys of her school called her. Always a flirt with the males as she waltzed past them. Her strawberry blonde hair brushing over the desperate boys that followed her. If only her father and mother survived longer to dot her more. But she managed. 

She now runs a small candy shop, and of course the men called her the sweetest thing around. However it wasn’t until she saw mothers stroll around with their babies, when she realized what she was missing. A woman pressing thirty in a few years, she felt longing. Now many men would offer up their ‘services,’ but why put up with that when troll adoption is quicker and smoother?

A White woman running your care house leads you to Amelia. “Vriska, this is your new mother.” The woman pats your back and nudges you to ‘mother.’ 

Amelia kneels down to your level and brushes your hair behind your ear, “Hello Vriska. I’m your mom, Amelia Vine.” You stare at her and she starts to tear up. “I’m sorry. I’m just so excited right now.”

“It’s understandable dear,” the woman behind you emphasizes. “It’s not unusual.”

“What do you think of staying with me?”

What do you think? This woman is treating you like the most important thing in the world, has she had her meds lately? You respond by brushing your hair back over your left eye.

“Why are you covering up?” The trolls made fun of you, that’s why. That or they were too scared once they heard of your lusus. Amelia pushes your hair back, “You look beautiful as you are.”

“I look weird.”

“No you don’t. Do other kids call you that?” You nod. “Well don’t listen to them! You are who you are, and that’s incredible.” You laugh lightly, this woman is silly, but it doesn’t make you stop her from hugging you. “I have all the paper signed, are you ready?” You realize that she’s still asking if you’re okay with this.

“Yes. I’m ready.” 

She hesitantly leaves you and stands up. Amelia holds her hand out for you to grab and the two of you leave with the only thing you own; the shirt with your symbol. 

Amelia Vine has one of those homes that while not big or majestic, it’s still a dream. A one-story with a garden out front, you walk close to her as you head inside. “Is this okay?”

You look around inside, “I would have made it big. Hit the clouds with towers around.” She chuckles.

“Let me show you your room.”

Your room is better than you could ever imagine. Blue. Almost every part of it blue. Amelia could tell your approval based on the sounds coming from your mouth.

“When I first saw you, I have to say I fell in love with your blood color. Cerulean is such a lovely shade.”

You turn back confused, “Ceru-Cerule-“

“Cerulean. That’s your color.”

“Sounds pretty.”

“Well then it fits a female like you.”

Your face pouts, “I’m not pretty, I’m tough. I used to beat up anyone who hurt a spider in the care house.” Truth is you actually cried until someone on the staff disciplined the culprit. 

Amelia giggles but stops short, “Tell me, did you ever ‘feed’ your lusus?” 

“No.” That seems to relax Amelia. “What should I call you?”

She gives a small smile, “Mom, or Amelia is fine. I don’t want to push you.”

“Okay . . mom,” that makes her happy again. “Do I have to change my name? Other trolls talked about that.”

“I’ll leave that up to you. I won’t feel bad if you want to keep your name.”

You sigh, “Thanks, I think Vriska Vine is a stupid name.”

“Haha, Yes that would be a silly name” She looks at the clock in your room. “I think we should go shopping. Get you some nice, new clothes!” You look at your shirt, and agree.

With a store offering soooooooo many options, it makes your head spin a bit. Clothes of every size and color within your grasp, yet your decision disappointed your mom.

“That’s it?” She looks as you show her a grey coat, blue pants, and pair of red shoes. 

“Yeah! I look cool in this!”

“I think you need more than that.”

“No.”

“No?”

“No!”

Amelia gives a small laugh, “Okay baby steps. But we’re going to have to get you more clothes eventually.”

“But-“ you look down on the shirt you are wearing.

“I can always add your symbol Vriska if that’s what you’re worried about.” That seems like a cool idea to you. “How about we get some dinner? What do you like to eat?”

Your first month with Amelia is the best one you can remember in your childhood. She always cared for you first, and gave you more love than you could hold at times. She would show you off at the candy store, but hired a babysitter when she ‘had to work late.’ But the most significant part of your time with her is when she told you, “You’re pretty innocent Vriska. Like you don’t know what’s right or wrong. What a wonderful age.”

It was the next day after that when you can say everything changed.

Amelia was bringing you home from the shop when she asked what you were in the mood to have for dinner. “Anything you want. Anything at all.” She looked away for a second before turning back, “We’re having a guest tonight. Someone very important who wants to meet you.”

“Who?”

“He’s a friend that helps supply candy. I think you’ll like him.”

You don’t know what you expected. You’ve seen many of her friends before, but not him. His name was Danvile. 

He kneels down to look closely at you with his maroon eyes, “Hi Vriska. I’m Danvile.” He holds out a grey hand for you to shake. You take it and watch his curvy horns bounce as he booms. “She has a strong grip Amelia! You always pick the best of course.” 

“I know. He’s a fortune teller part time, Vriska.”

“Yeah because it doesn’t pay nearly enough,” he jokes.

You squint, “Prove it. I don’t think you’re real.”

“Alright,” he moves his hand over your head humming, “I can tell that you’re going to be a beautiful, strong troll.”

“You’re a fake.”

Danvile laughs again, “She’s too smart for me Amelia.”

“I told you. You’ll just have to do better.” The woman bites down on her fingers nervous.

“Okay. Vriska, I bet you didn’t clean behind your ears this morning.”

You frown, “What’s that supposed to mean-“ Before you can finish, he reaches behind your ear and pulls out a shiny penny. “Whaaaaaaaat?” You snatch the penny away. “My ears can do that?” 

“Well I just cleaned them. I told you I can predict the future. Do you want to?”

“I don’t think I’m a psychic.”

Amelia and Danvile frown, “I hope not. But all you need is a little help to be like me.” He reaches into his side bag to pull out a wrapped present. Your eyes brighten up at the blue bow.

“Oh Danvile,” mom complains, “You’re bribing her.”

“Now now Amelia, I know how to treat the ladies.” 

You’ve stopped listening to them because you’re already tearing away the package. It reveals to be a black ball with the figure eight on it. “A magic eight ball,” he explains. “Ask it any question, and it’ll be a hundred percent accurate.” Danvile lifts it from the box and asks, “Will Vriska and I be the best friends forever?” He shakes it and shows the small window to you.

“Definitely.”

And that’s how you met Danvile. You never completely understood him that night, he had these little jokes that only your mom understood. But he was nice. Danvile came by every weekend for months. Sometimes he would even stay until morning and make breakfast. He was basically family to you; even called you his Lucky Girl. 

As more months went by, he became more relaxed around the house. Coming by more often. Touching Amelia more frequently. You’ve caught them holding hands over the couch while you watched television between them. You try to forget the one time when you had a nightmare so you walked into her room. They did what you saw two dogs outside do once. You laid in bed thinking after that.

When you were almost two sweeps old, your mother started to look for your elementary school.

Skaia Elementary is an interesting facility. You’re segregated with other trolls of your color, most of which are not your age. But you all learn the same thing; which meant you heard lessons above your level. And it was during a free period when you made a huge mistake.

“What are you doing?” one of the older students asks. You tell her that you were drawing your family. She squints to examine closer and moves to talk to the teacher. Your teacher returns to take your artwork away from you and requests that you go home for the day. 

You don’t understand why a picture of you, mom and Danvile could be bad.

Amelia questions why you’re going home so early when you’re both home. You tell her that you don’t know. She questions you again. You tell her they sent you home after making a picture with the three of you.

She’s taken aback, “You what!?”

“Well I-“

“Are you an idiot!? Do you want us killed?” You feel like this is another situation you don’t understand.

“You like Danvile right? Like kissy-kissy.”

“That doesn’t matter Vriska!” She shrieks. “Who found out?” You explain only the teacher and a student. Amelia paces back and forth, “I need to call him. We have to leave.”

“But I like it here.”

“Then you shouldn’t have fucked up!” She moves to the phone. The numbers are pressed, and Amelia holds it up to her face only to panic. “It’s dead. They’re here.” She rushes to the window with you following behind. 

Trolls and humans of all colors gather outside shouting. Amelia brings pulls you into her room and moves to lock all outside doors. She rushes back to you, and the two of you hide under her bed. Amelia holds you close as she cries. This is the second time you’ve been scared out of your mind.

The shouting gets louder and some glass breaks. After an hour of this, sirens wail and the mob dies down. It isn’t until a week later when Amelia lets the two of you leave the house. School was definitely interesting as you received many threatening stares and pitting glances. 

Only when you return is everything worse. Danvile has finally returned.

“We need to leave,” Amelia begs crying on her knees to him. “Together! We can escape together!”

“No.”

“Stop saying that!” Danvile continues to look distant. “I love you! I’ve always loved you and only you! We wanted to be together! Here’s our excuse!”

“I-I can’t.”

“You said you loved me! You wanted to be out with me!”

“I didn’t know it would be this bad! I’m losing all my clients! Face it Amelia, it’s not worth it.” He tugs away only to have Amelia cling on harder.

“I’m not worth it?”

“We were foolish to think we could ever be together.” He turns to notice you, “Vriska go away.”

“You’re leaving?” He doesn’t respond. “When will you be back?”

“I won’t.”

“But-“ you pull the magic eight ball out from your backpack, “You said best friends forever!”

He walks across the room leaving Amelia behind. “That shit’s fake. Grow up.”

“But-“ he moves passed you and walks out the door. Out of anger, you throw the toy at the door watching the ball break apart and the blue liquid seep into the carpet, staining the door.

And there you stood: furious with your life and your mother withering on the floor covered in her own tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is now an ask blog for PoliceForcestuck. http://policeforcestuck.tumblr.com/


	3. Chapter Three

When time moves on life changes; it’s a fact. Suddenly that incident at your friend’s sleep over that made you cry is hilarious now. The mate of your dreams falling for another, a thing of the past. That time you yelled at your guardians so much you didn’t get dinner; what of it? 

When you age, everything changes. You cared so much over incidents and objects at the time that a month later won’t even matter. What a stubborn world we all live in.

However, some incidents are harder to heal from than others. The choices we make now can impact our lives together; even the simplest ones. It could be a young woman deciding to change suppliers to someone she never knew, or a troll contemplating which clients to take.

Your ‘mother,’ Amelia, never quite recovered after her lover left her. You always hoped that she would regain that glimmer of hope that was always shown. But now she’s empty. 

Not long after, Amelia lost: her job, her house, and the respect of the neighborhood. No one wanted to see her, so the store went bankrupted. No store means cuts had to be made in life. And her reputation was long lost. Even she lost respect for herself.

Maybe it could have all changed, but neither of you ever saw Danvile ever again. You once heard a horrid rumor that he hung himself over the stress, but you spared the information from Amelia. She still waits for him some days. 

At four sweeps old you grew used to caring for your guardian. You both stay in a pathetic shack now, slowly selling all possessions and milking everything for what they’re worth. Amelia also took up a job where she comes back drunk and looking worse. You don’t ask what it is, but you hear enough rumors to understand.

You might’ve been able to run away, but at four sweeps old you wouldn’t make it. And despite all the new memories you have with Amelia, they still haven’t overcome the old ones.

But it’s hard. It’s hard and no one seems to notice or care.

School at Skaia Elementary is even worse. Your status is in shambles, and the school work is too advanced. Your educator asked one question on the Human-Troll War II. You didn’t know it because you didn’t study last night. You didn’t study last night because you were too tired from your mother. You had to care for your mother because she war drunk again and crying. She was crying because a ‘client’ beat her too hard.

You just don’t know the answer. 

You realize that you could have taken a guess, or explained that you are clueless. But you don’t. Suppose that it’s the pressure of your life, or that you’re entering the stages of insanity, but you crack. And by crack, you mean you run out of the classroom crying your fucking eyes out. 

You escape around the corridor to an empty hallway where no classes are occurring. You drop to the floor and sob. It’s almost five minutes before one of the teacher’s aids from your class comes to retrieve you. 

“Get up.”

You don’t respond.

“Get up.”

You do your best to hide behind your dampened hair.

“Are you a blue blood or a weak wiggler? Get up.” The voice ends with such command that you can’t help but obey. You weak legs hoisted you up as you wobble your way. The aid watches you without assistance. “Must you be so pathetic? You’re a disgrace to our blood.”

“You’re the one with the problems.” You’re getting tired with the bullshit.

“Excuse me? What ludicrous statement are you making?”

You keep your head down, “I know you freaked out when you forgot your assignment. The educator had to call the nurse to make sure you didn’t dehydrate.”

“Insolent little-how did you even know that?”

“I was in your grade that year,” you know him. You recognized him from your first year at the school. It’s not unusual for excelling trolls to aid their previous classes while attending their higher. This troll was so nervous when he forgot the assignment he sweated a puddle. That was one of the good days.

“You’re older than I thought.”

“That’s surprising?” 

He smirks, “You did act like a wiggler. A real blue blood would stand their ground.”

You turn downcast, “I was tired.” He lifts your chin up to look into his eyes, but you keep your eyes closed.

“Are you making excuses? Do you not understand what it means to be a high blood?”

“I’m pretty sure that I’m not.”

“Nonsense child, it is in your blood. You were born to this role.”

“Yeah right.”

“Look at me when you deny me.” You don’t. He shakes your head roughly, “Open your eyes!”

You slowly blink your eyes open, “Happy?”

“Your eyes . . . They’re-“

“You never really noticed did you?”

He releases you and scratches his head embarrassed, “You were so much younger, and I was older and above you. Our class is big enough to ignore you.”

“Thanks. The troll you found crying is much happier now.”

“You’re too young to use sarcasm. Besides, you know how our class acts.”

You stomp your feet, “Stop acting like I know!”

“Didn’t your lusus-“ He seems to recognize something about you. “You’re that troll. With that woman-“

“Can you not say it? I hear it enough already.”

“I apologize. You make more sense now. You have no idea what to do with yourself.”

You shuffle your feet uncomfortable. It’s not like you didn’t think this recently, but hearing a stranger say it is . . . awkward. 

He sticks out his hand, “My name is Equius Zahhak, Royal Blue blood. With my help you can be the blue blood you are meant to be.”

You look at his hand for a few seconds before accepting it, “Vriska Serket, Cerulean blood.”

“Meeting me is the best thing that could have ever happen to you.” Equius then leads you back to the classroom, and on your way back you wonder what would have happened if you had just answered the question.

Months go by. You get used to the routine of going to Equius’s house every day after school. Amelia never questions your absence. He lives in the city with his lusus. The troll explains to you how he moved here shortly after he found his guardian. Apparently some high bloods that find young trolls lead them to a safer environment.

He would hand you a glass of his lusus’s milk, and teach you the lesson. About troll history, behavior, and etiquette. How blue bloods shape the world, and command the low bloods while obeying the higher bloods. 

You did find some of the information interesting, despite the overload you constantly had to take. Even your grades in school improved over time, and the rumors stopped with Equius at your side. Your personal attitude changed to what Equius considered ‘proper.’

But it wasn’t until one lesson when you became completely absorbed. 

“Marquise Mindfang, a captain of a ship in the First Troll-Human War. She was able to sink any human fleet with a flick of her wrist.” He shows you a picture of her. 

“She looks so cool! She has my blood.”

“Perhaps, but she became a traitor in that war. She turned on us and joined the humans half-way through. We might have won if she didn’t betray her species.”

“Why would she do that?”

“Our records cannot tell us, so much has already been lost. However she paid for her insolence with the loss of her left arm and eye. And then her life in the second war.”

Something comes to you, “Why are her eyes blacked out in her pictures?”

“Scholars say that her look was too horrifying to capture on paper. But it wouldn’t surprise me she resembled you. Even has your lusus.”

You light up, “Really?”

“That’s not a good thing. I’m telling you about her as a warning. She betrayed her duty and paid the price. Now she’s just a faint memory that no one cares to learn about. Follow her example and you’ll fall just the same.”

This doesn’t stop you from dreaming about her and doodling her. She’s just soooooooo cooooooool!

You’ve recently begun to speak and write like her based on the journals. Equius says that it’s more of a child’s activity, so of course he’s above it.

Equius explains quite a bit to you how the merging of humans and trolls has become the worst thing to happen to either species. Trolls now can’t take the law based on class; however some high bloods still can. Humans will act rougher to their own kind. 

Trolls on Earth apparently have a shorter life span just for being on here.

There was even this whole system of quadrants that trolls used to try to follow. But the humans eliminated Imperial Drones that desired genetic fluid from a mixture of trolls. The Drones would put an either or decision of genetic fluid or death. Today, trolls can willing donate their fluid at their will. With this change, trolls don’t believe in filling quadrants as much.

The system really is dying.

In many ways, your relationship with Equius grew. That’s why you went to him with your problem.

“I-I don’t understand,” he looks unease at you.

“There’s something coming out from . .” You make a circle motion around your pelvic area. “And it’s getting all over my . . underwear.” You know what happened the first time you said panties. 

“I think Nepeta should look at you first,” he runs to the other end of his hive to call his moirail over. You’ve meet the troll before, a little older than you. She is kind and a total opposite to Equius. It took a while before he introduced the two of you. It makes sense that he would have a moirail, a green blood no less sense. Those are the best for blue bloods.

She comes around to you in her large green coat. Equius leaves you both alone while he gives attention to his mechanics. He has the weirdest hobbies.

“Let’s take a little lookie down here!” Nepeta holds a blanket up like a wall as you strip your pants down. You hand the garments to her, and she hums a bit curious. 

“Is everything all right?”

She sticks a finger into the sticky substance, “Interesting. Equius said your lusus was a spider?”

“Yeah?”

“Then there’s purrbably nothing to worry about!” Nepeta hands back your clothes and leaves to explain the situation to her moirail. 

He comes back relaxed, “Nepeta informed me that there are webs coming out of your backside.”

“It’s really uncomfortable.” 

“I would say that this is all natural, but it’s not technically.” That scares you a bit.

“Nepeta told me there was nothing to worry about!”

Equius struggles with hand fumbling to make this easier, “There isn’t. Your condition is another side effect from the war. Part of the reason humans won is from their nuclear weapons. The radiation affected many trolls by giving them powers relatable to their lusus. That’s why no lusus is mismatched; you are hatched for you lusus.”

“So the fact that my lusus was a spider . .”

“Yes. Even I have the strength of a full grown hoof-beast,” he flexes one arm. “A powerful and deadly gift that I have learned from personal experience to control.”

You start to feel better, “Is this a daily thing or?

“Based on other conditions no, most likely a seasonal or monthly issue. Nepeta suggests finding some sort of clog for the seeping area. I have many towels you can use.”

“And where would I clog it?”

He sighs still not fully contented, “I assume around your rear like arachnids. If I’m wrong I apologize, but I’m not a specialist.”

“Okaaaaaaaay.” You rub the back of your head feeling awkward again. “Would the radiation explain my eye?”

“I apologize, but I cannot say for certain.”

“Oh,” you turn down disappointed.

Equius moves to pat you on the back “Do not fret. There are many inherited characteristics much worse than yours. Some are alternating emotional behaviors, or of the mental type. You could have been like Nepeta who has a very loving behavior, but she has to trim her nails quite often.” 

You snicker at his comment, and curl up to his arms into a hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feferi can eat a whale.


	4. Chapter Four

You don’t know why you didn’t see it before.

Your hesitancy to leave him. That pang of jealousy every time he talks to Nepeta instead of you. How you lie to your ‘guardian’ whenever she’s sober enough to care. And those longing glances you give Equius when he talks to you.

You’re in love.

The situation seems reasonable enough, a six sweep that was taught how to be who she is by a nine sweep old blue blood. While the age difference is a bit extreme, Equius has informed her that that did not stop trolls from choosing their companions before. If that’s not suggestive, then what is?

Sure your feelings for him at this moment are not pure flushed, but they must grow redder! You can’t imagine anything but two blue bloods together that would make Equius fall in love. That passion you both share will form the proudest blue bloods that the Virgin Grub ever formed. 

There are, obviously, other rewards to having a matesprit like him. At six sweeps you’ve become veeeeeeeery sexually interested. There are times whenever you can steal them when you think about your future lover. You touching his muscular body, while he wraps you around with those arms of his. You imagination exceeds you numerous times, and your hands doodle the loving actions the two of you will do.

You wonder when Equius will confront you about your relationship. He has recently graduated from the Capital’s cadet school for inspiring police humans and trolls. Equius wasn’t gone too long. He had, as you knew, graduate not long into his first year top of his class. With his skills it makes sense he wouldn’t need to stay as long as others. The troll still found time to visit you on weekends with his moirail. Still talking to you. An occasional touch.

But with him graduated he will return to Skaia as an officer, back to you. He visits you at school and speaks to you as a fellow high blood with some others. It brings a tingling to your insides when he gives even the briefest glances.

However Equius has of late been distracted. It’s most likely that he is preparing different tactics to present his affections. You’re very excited.

Then again, it’s odd. He’s finding less time to spend with you, but he manages time with Nepeta. Does a moirail outweigh a matesprit? Maybe he believes that you should be older before courting you. He’s probably consulting with Nepeta about his emotions towards you. It’s all soooooooo romantic. 

The idea to confront him first should’ve come to you sooner. 

So here you are, trotting behind him after school. He has picked up Nepeta and is leading her to her hive. You know that he does this after school every day and is alone afterwards. The plan is to surprise him and explain your feelings alone with him. You trust that surprise announcements of affection are the best way to go. Then he’ll kiss you like the way you draw in your notebook.

So after he says goodbye, while you stay hidden in a bush, Equius looks around and walks to . . . a direction that’s not his hive or any of his usual spots. Instead it’s closer to low blood territory.

You want to catch him, but his strides are too strong for you to reach him. Maybe you should just call out to him-No. This plan is full proof and must be carried out. 

Equius wanders into a deserted playground. No, deserted is the wrong word. It was a playground long ago until some stupid kid died there and the parents demanded it be held as a memorial. A looser waste of space. And now everyone avoids it; at least everyone except Equius. 

What is he doing here? He knows not to come here. Still sneaking, you enter in after him. 

Without anyone to take care of the memorial, because who gives a fuck about that, the grass, bushes and trees have become overgrown and block sight. You look around trying to find Equius, but come short with no clear vision. 

You are close to giving up until you see him just passing a tree. Running as fast as you can while holding your breath back as much as you are able to, you catch up to him. 

He saunters over to the swing set that is surprisingly not alone. Another troll, a low blood female close to Nepeta’s age, sits contently on one of the seats. She smiles as he walks over to her looming over. It’s clear that they know each other by the way they greet each other.

It’s even clearer when she swoops up to kiss Equius.

What should you do? Call out their deviation? Throw a tantrum? Report to the authorities?

Or maybe you’ll just stay there in silence watching them. Watching as she is able to do all the touching and feeling that you only dreamed about. Perhaps the worst part of this is the fact that Equius couldn’t care less that she’s a maroon blood.

It’s too bad you couldn’t stay quiet for long. And by that you mean you started heaving closer to hysterics. That didn’t go by unnoticed by the low blood. She indicates a finger to your direction and Equius stalks toward you. Everything could have been different if you had tried to run away. 

But you didn’t.

“Vriska!”

“You know her?” The female walked up behind and recognizes you. “It’s that troll you babysit,” she responds nonchalantly. 

“What are you doing here?!” 

“I-I followed you.” You’re starting to sense something coming off of Equius. A sensation that reminds you of fear, but another of rage tries to conceal it.

“Do you realize how far you’ve overstepped your boundaries?!” He’s accusing you now, but you don’t believe it. His true emotions are too strong to get past you. You turn to the female, and she makes you uncomfortable. It’s like she unreadable. Blank. You cannot understand what she’s doing. 

The troll places a hand on Equius to calm him. This is irritating you. Giving you a headache. You can sense Equius calming, even if it’s slight, but you don’t know her. You don’t know what she’s doing. You don’t know her! You’re starting to lose your self-control.

“Why Equius?” you refute. “How could you turn your back on everything you believed in? Do-Do you think I’m going to run off tattling about your affair?”

His fists start to shake either from anger or fear. “You will do no such thing! Who will care for you afterwards? You depend on me too much to lose me. Are you willing to collapse back to the worthless heap you were before?”

He lies. He lies he lies he lies he lies he lies he lies he lies he lies! You are losing the control you have over your own body with shakings, and only dwell deeper into hysteria. “No no no no no-“

“Calm down Vriska,” the other troll begs. She’s weird! She’s a freak! She’s a horrible, ugly creature! Why is he with her? Why why why why why why why why!? She now attempts to place her hands on your shoulders. She won’t calm you down!

“Get off of me!” You tug away frightened. “Don’t touch me!” But the troll turns distant once she handled you.

She looks back at you curious, “You can’t read me.” She says it so confidently, there’s not a doubt in her mind about it.

You don’t answer but continue you shake. You turn to the ground as the conversation continues.

“What are you talking about Aradia?”

“She’s a psychic like me, the spirits told me so. It appears to be that her powers are awakening.”

“Dear Grub.”

“She wouldn’t like me then. The spirits take care to keep me protected.”

“The spirits are telling you all this?”

“Yes, and I know how you feel towards them but this is crucial. They had to be screaming when they alerted me of her presence.” Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up! 

“Shut up!” You scream. “You don’t know me!”

“But I know you more than you know me.”

Your shivers are starting to hurt your speech, “You-Your brea-breaking soci-so-societies rules and a fr-freak! If-If I told-“

“But you won’t,” Equius stands boldly. “As much as you’d hate to admit it, you can’t lose me. So you stay quiet and no secrets will escape. Ours or yours.” You can’t-can’t stay like this, so you do the one thing you should’ve done long before.

You run as far away as possible. From them. From the park. All the way back to the safe recluse you call a ‘home.’ And you only smashed into one other person who tried to help you get back up, but you ran.

Did Amelia ever wonder why you were crying so hard? Staying completely excluded in you room? Probably not.

Did you plan for school to be awkward the next day? Of course. Did you plan for it to go the way it did? Not at all.

Leaving your hive alone, you meet up as usual with Nepeta and Equius. It’s apparent that she is filled in on the previous events. Then the three of you walk to the educational facility, and Equius departs to monitor the area near the school as an officer. It’s almost like nothing’s changed. Almost.

You think you hate yourself. Nepeta hasn’t even talked to you, and you believe that she’s always known about the affair. You at least thought you shared some sort of friendship with her.

Your supplies are gathered for the first class, and everyone is shuffling around moving on in their lives. You never enjoyed this part of the day, everything’s too loud and messy. But you are able to see Aradia having a dispute with her lusus that followed her here. It’s ugly. She’s stupid. Stupid and ugly . . . and probably a million germs crawling over her stupid face. That makes you feel a little better.

Okay you lied, it doesn’t.

You are sulking over to the room until a loud noise breaks and then another. Then a female screams over everything. You turn around to see students falling on the floor scared and desperate. You follow their example and drop to the floor keeping your books over your head. 

You search the room until you see a low blood troll holding a gun. Looking past him you see other trolls and humans cradling a maroon troll that’s bleeding out. A teacher steps out to control the situation. Some are shouting at the gun-wielding troll which doesn’t help him at all. He grabs his head in pain but then lifts the gun to his forehead and-

And he ended his own pain. 

More keep shouting, crying, screaming. So much noise. The suicidal troll fell back so you could see his face. You recognize it as the troll you bumped into yesterday.

Time goes from too slow to too fast. The police come in lead by Equius who personally takes Aradia to the hospital. They would have given up on her due to lack of financial support and time; except Equius supplied a robotic heart for transplant. He’s a giving officer isn’t he? So convenient that he willing gives a part that he made from his hobby. 

Now all that Aradia lost was her heart and apparently her lusus. But that information is going to be withheld until she is adjusted to her new disability.

However you are more complex with what happened. Everyone is dismissed from the school to recover, and Equius is too busy to question you. The time must be used to study yourself. 

You saw the troll shortly after you ran away from Equius and Aradia. Is it possible that you influenced him to attempted murder? Aradia only said you could read others’ emotions, but can you order others around? You have to find out.

It starts with keeping the experiment close to the original. You go to a lively park where you sit isolated on a swing. You watch as a male troll similar to the other one walks by. You try to make him go a different direction; no effect. Try as hard as you can, it does nothing. Perhaps the younger trolls will be easier to manipulate? 

You work on a little low blood troll that is playing with his friends on the slide. Until you are forced to bring a hand to your head to concentrate, and to keep from head-exploding-aches, you are able to at least make him hesitate for a few seconds. 

Damn it! What is the secret? What is the fuel that brought a troll to kill his friend, her lusus and himself? This is so frustrating-

The young troll hit his friend. A lusus moves to separate the two before a fight breaks out. The action confused the two friends completely. You did that.

The formula is obvious now; it’s emotion. You can see it and command it to your own disposal. You were so furious the other day that the now-dead troll had no choice but to take revenge on Aradia. Interesting.

Now try again, slowly and keep up with the process.

You pick another young troll, similar to the others and in a sandbox. You bring a hand slowly to your forehead and read his feelings. Playful is out front with pleasure and happy. Dig deeper. Find other emotions different from those. There’s bitterness, confused, giddy, regret, annoyed, boredom, interest and envy. You see another troll besides your test subject. She has a nice shovel. Too nice. You return to the victim and encourage that envy and bitterness. More. More! Yes, that’s shovel is nice. You want it don’t you? The subject looks at his playmate and steals the item away. 

Success.

It takes practice, but soon enough you are able to control almost any troll with ease. Only the higher bloods are more difficult, and the humans are peculiar. You practiced in school with them and created a few mishaps of children falling asleep in class, which isn’t that odd. It appears that no matter what emotion, humans just fall asleep. Perhaps with more practice this will change.

And not long after that Equius confronts you.

He corners you just outside your hive; you smile when he called out behind you.

“Vriska, we need to talk.”

You turn around, “Oh? And what would that be?”

“You tried to kill Aradia.”

You frown, “I’m disappointed that it took you this long to find me. Am I really not that important? At least you are recognizing how powerful I am.”

“There aren’t many other options to pull from. Everyone else is agreeing that the low blood was insane. But I know better.”

“You’re right. Yoooooooou know better.”

“Enough. I ought to arrest you right now.”

“But you won’t,” you smirk.

He’s taken aback, “Do you dare-“

“Yes, I dare.” You stand tall, “I’m taking advantage over the situation. Not you.”

“What could you possibly gain from this?”

“Immunity for starts.” You step up to look at him behind his sunglasses, oh the nervousness he practically sweats off! “Having an officer to look out for me would be nice. Especially since there’s no way you’ll stay in such a lowly position for long.”

“You think I’ll agree to this tomfoolery? I have dirt on you Vriska. You don’t own me-“

“But I do! Oh yes I do.” You place a hand on your barely forming hips, “Tell me, are you willing to give up Aradia in order to persecute me? We both know that’ll happen. IIIIIIII’m going to take the upper hand in this arrangement.”

Equius is only starting to see you how you’ve changed, “But you need me-“

“No. No I do not need you. I’ve grown out of you. I only need to take care of myself.” You can’t keep the smile back, “A month ago I would’ve begged for you or wanted to be your matesprit instead of Aradia,” he’s flabbergasted by that, “but now I see what you are. A pitiable, low-blood smooching failure. And you thought you could teach me what a blue blood is. How ridiculous.”

You walk up to your hive and open the door, “One more thing.” You turn back, “Take better care of that sweating. How I could stand near you before is unimaginable.” 

And thus you turned you back on Equius Zahhak thinking you would never see him again.


	5. Chapter Five

Your name is Vriska Serket and you are now nine sweeps old. 

The three sweeps since your incident with Equius went by quickly that also lacks interest to others. You kept to yourself and practice your abilities in secret. You kept to yourself as not many other people desired your company. Not that you can blame them, even the blue bloods you associated with before now felt nervous around you.

You didn’t need them anyway. Your experience with Equius taught you that high bloods are all hypocrites. None of them mean what they say, so why bother listening to them? 

You’ve moved out of Amelia’s care, not that there was much left, and have taken up a small job of mailing goods to other places. Pays well and you don’t have to deal with too many people. It beats your old job selling insurance over the phone. 

So you currently wait at a bus stop to your next appointment, however the lazy transportation system is running late yet again. It’s cold outside and you’re not up for this hoof-beast shit. If you get late again then you miss the rendezvous point and Walzna will steal it from you; little bitch.

You reach into your coat pocket and pull out your packet of cigarettes and light one; it’s a habit that you started based on passive aggression to an old friend. The muscle brain doesn’t even know though.

But then some nitwit decides to wait right next to you. He even sits on the same bench. You’ll just have to ignore him. 

The man looks at his watch and then turns to you, “Is the bus running late? They’re running behind on their schedule.” You keep staring straight ahead disregarding him. “Heh, I guess that’s a yes. It’s really annoying since it’s so cold out.”

Okay, he’s done with small talk so he should ignore you-Oh fuck he’s still talking. 

“You want to see a magic trick?” What is wrong with this guy? Is he brain dead? He pulls into his backpack and pulls out a deck of cards, “Pick a card, any card.”

You slightly shift your head towards the cards; while you do have a bad taste of magic tricks, they are hard for you to resist. But it’s all stupid since magic is fake and will always be fake.

Hesitantly, you reach for a card and pull out the Queen of Spades. “Now don’t show me your card, and put it at the bottom of the deck,” he instructs. You follow the directions and watch as he shuffles the deck. He then searches through and pulls out a card. “Is this your card?”

“Holy Grub your right!” You grab the Queen of Spades out from his hand. “How did you do that?” Dear Grub you’re a sucker for magic. You should stop, but addictions are hard to break.

The man laughs, “A magician never reveals his secret.” He returns the cards back to his pocket but pulls out a flyer. “You should see my jokes tonight.” You take the flyer advertising a man called John Egbert as a comedian at a local bar tonight. “I’m passing these out today. Really excited. Would you come tonight?”

“Are you a funny guy?”

“A-huh! I’ve been practicing for weeks on my sketch! So will you come?”

“Uhh-“ The bus arrives interrupting you. The man gets on but you stay behind.

“Aren’t you coming?” he asks.

You stay seated, “No. I’m too late anyways. I’m just going to go home.”

The bus driver orders the man to get in, but he continues, “Well what about tonight?” The man is threatened to get in or get out so he steps back in as the doors close.

It’s then that you answer, “Sure! I’ll come.” You could pester him then about the card trick.

When the sun is down, you head towards the address he gave you. It turns out that he’s entertaining at a bar that you are unfamiliar with. It’s not in the best condition and even has a “For Sale” sign on the front. 

You walk inside and feel immediately awkward. The man stands at a small stage holding a microphone talking to drunk patrons at a bar. The place is almost completely empty. He lights up when you appear, “Hey! You’re that troll girl!” You feel uncomfortable and try to hide in the shadows. You slowly back out. “No don’t go! If you leave then I’ll be all alone. I doubt these guys will listen to me.”

Oh Grub he’s going for the pity angle and he sounds really desperate. You can’t help but turn around and sit down on small, round table up front. Why are you being so weak towards this human?

“Well it seems like we’ve got a new guest in the room ladies and germs,” he says to no one in particular. “Let’s start with a nice joke to welcome her in.” The room is silent. "Why are trolls always willing to fill a bucket? . . . Because they’re horny!”

You lightly chuckle at his joke. The lack of audience is making more sense now, but the man takes your noise as the loudest applause ever.

“Thank you thank you! Now here’s another one, this maroon troll and his bull lusus are attacked by this man who kills and eats the lusus. The troll freaks out and ask why he did that. The man replies, ‘I heard red bull gives you wings!’ Get it, like the drink. Funny right?”

You admit to laughing at that one despite its crude nature and the fact that the man felt the need to explain his joke. Jokes aren’t funny if you have to explain them.

“Now listen to this, a high blood and low blood start dating and the high blood’s friends ask, ‘Why are you dating a low blood?’ And he goes, ‘I’m dating a low blood? The doctor is right, I’m colorblind!’” 

You give a little laugh at that. Not like it isn’t true for most prestige high bloods.

“Now do you ever wonder why trolls’ houses are so dirty? It’s because they can’t keep any cleaning supplies around.” Oh boy.

Some of the jokes did improve, yet some stayed crude. It’s after the performance when the man leaps down to join you at your table. “So what did you think?”

“Weeeeeeeell . . .”

“Oh God you hated it too!” He lets his face fall to the table and covers his head with his arms. “I’ve fucked it up again. I was hoping this would be my breakthrough but no. I should just give up.”

You’re startled by his outburst, “No no no no no no no no! Get your head out of the toilet. If you keep talking like a loser than you’ll be a loser. It wasn’t that bad.”

“You’re just saying that. I barely got a snicker from the drunk guys.” Well he has you there.

“No you really did alright, but . .” You cringe back a little, “Some of your troll jokes were insensitive.”

“Wait really? No one has ever told me that.”

“Well yeah. Your jokes about the buckets were insulting and uninformative. Any troll would know that you know nothing about troll reproduction.” 

The man looks interested, “Oh man. I’ve been using them forever! How bad is it?”

Oh Grub how do you explain this? Why are you still here even? “Come on! Get with the basic troll biology. You see, humans for whatever creepy reason think buckets equal porn. I don’t know what dipshit thought of that, but it’s more personal than that. When two trolls go buy a bucket, it’s like getting a human wiggler ultra sound or picking out human baby shit. It’s special and it’s all we got to be ‘family-like.’” 

“I am the biggest idiot on the planet. I keep screwing up on being culturally sensitive. No wonder trolls don’t come to my shows.”

“That and your jokes are kinda lame. Sorry!” You add as a last thought. 

“No it’s okay; I need some tough love. Who knows how long I would’ve continued to use those jokes? So thank you.” He gives a wide grin showing his buckteeth. You end up smiling for some reason.

You stand up from your chair, “I should be going-“

“No don’t go! You’re my only friend in Skaia.”

You stare at him, “Seriously? You don’t even know my name.”

“Oh right,” he stands up and sticks his hand out gawkily, “My name is John Egbert, comedic god in training. I moved here yesterday.”

“You got a gig so quickly?”

“Not really. I used to live in the Capital, but I flopped there so I tried Skaia where I had this show waiting for me. And that went well.” He looks back at his waiting hand, “I still don’t know your name.”

You look at his face and then at his hand. You take the offering, “My name is Vriska Serket.”

John smiles at your name, “Great, now we’re friends.” You find yourself smiling back. He scratches the back of his head, “Want to go get some drinks? It’s been a rough night.”

You think of any other plans you might have had tonight and realize that they don’t match up to having a few drinks with this man. 

About an hour passes of alcohol and giggles before the two of you head to your apartment on a bus. It appears that you can’t leave his company just yet, so you demanded that you continue conversation.

When you both get off the bus his company becomes uncomfortable. You both stand facing each other retrieving breath after a fit of laughs from your previous chat.

“So,” John starts nonchalantly, “This is where you live.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s nice.” He starts to shuffle his feet. 

You are about to invite him in when you’re interrupted.

Someone drives by and throws a water balloon of a horrible, reeking liquid that you cannot name. As they drive past they yell, “Stay in your own species!”

You try to rub the liquid out of your eyes, “Fuck!” You shake a fist in their direction, “I ought to cull your insignificant brains because it’s sure more useful than what you’re doing with them.” You withdraw to scrap the taste off your tongue.

John tries to comfort you while yelling at the assholes that hurt you. “Don’t you have any common decency? Vriska are you alright?”

“No I’m not alright! I have this-this whatever in my hair and eyes and oh Grub in my mouth!” Grub Damn it! You thought you got it out.

“Here let’s get you inside and clean you up.” John takes you into your apartment, which you unlock, and sits you on a chair as he grabs a washcloth to clean you up. The man then grabs a chair to pull up in front of yours. He gently rubs the moist washcloth over your eye, “What is with those guys? Does that happen a lot?”

You don’t look at him, “They-They must have thought . . .”

“Thought what?”

“That we are . . together. Skaia isn’t as accepting of mixed species dating as the Capital.” You try your best not to look at his reaction but you cannot help it. Surprisingly, he does not look disgusted; merely disappointed. 

“Oh so does that mean I shouldn’t ask you ask you out. Like um date-wise.”

You stare at him confused before the anger breaks through, “Are you fucking serious? Did you not see what just happened? What do you think will happen if someone sees us holding hands for Grub’s sake?” You then clench your mouth trying to keep more words from spilling out.

John stays befuddled, “Vriska? Are you okay?” He brushes your hair leaving your entire face exposed. 

“I-I actually like you.” You can’t believe it.

“Wait really?”

You laugh, “Why are you so excited? Look at me! Do you want this to happen to you? Your comedy career is already in the gutter, do you want there to be no chance to succeed? To win?” Why does he not get this?

John studies your face and then wraps his arms around you. You catch your breath at his embrace. “Vriska,” he says, “I don’t care. I don’t care if Skaia has issues with the relationship that I want with you. I don’t care that this city won’t accept me as a comedic god; I suck too much anyways. I wouldn’t even want them to laugh with me if they treat their own citizens like this. I don’t care about the risks. All I want is for you to date me. I want us to say screw it let’s go on a date! A real date. Watch a movie or two. I don’t want to miss this opportunity with a beautiful person just because I’m too scared. I don’t see us as a human and a troll, but as two people who like each other and enjoy each other’s company. So, with your permission, may I go on a date with you?”

You watched him say these words with the most sincerity that you have seen in quite a while. You briefly looked into his emotions and saw that John is being completely honest. You pull away from him, “John, I will go on that date with you. But can it be a second date?” 

He catches your drift and tries to keep from snickering of excitement, “Sure. It means we got first date awkwardness out of the way.”

You lean forward and slowly rub your forehead against his. Even with your eyes closed you can feel him grow tense. “It also means that I can do this.” You open your eyes and press your lips against his. 

Strange, the gunk on your face is unnoticeable.


	6. Chapter Six

You’re in a moment of tranquility. There is chillness on your skin from a breeze coming out of an open window. You want to close it but are too in the moment to leave your position. In fact, it’s almost like your entire body is stiff if not stuck in this situation. 

You slightly turn your head over to your right where John lays. His glasses removed and his eyes closed give him a very peaceful appeal. You would assume that he was sleeping if not for his hand softly caressing your mangled hair. John smiles and gives off a warm breath on your neck. 

A lump in your throat goes down as you look back ten minutes ago. 

It wasn’t even supposed to end up like this. You and John were coming into his apartment with a newly rented movie (staring an actor who John regrettably got you addicted to after a showing of Con Air) and the rain hit you both hard.

Perhaps talking about removing your clothes was the final motivation you both needed to get to this step. You have been dating for months and have gotten close before. But this is the first time. 

The skill John presented definitely showed some experience; he was a bit intimidated by your anatomy but enjoyed your upper chest fat. It made you giggle and poke fun at him the way he was engrossed by them.

You on the other are experienced, but this was still different. Your other ‘partners’ never gave you the same feelings John gave.

And to make matters worse, it scares you.

You are one hundred percent frightened by how John just made you feel. You are supposed to read emotions, but you have never experienced this one before. Is this even right? It’s completely possible that as a human he is getting closer to you to make you weaker. It’s what Equius always said and believed. Is he right? Is this even right? It can’t happen. You won’t let it happen. Not again.

Your hand trembles as it moves from out of the covers to the nightstand. A lamp is there. All you have to do is reach over and smash it over his head. Then you can make a run for it and regain your status. 

You are close to touching the new weapon before John snuggles up to you and says, “I love you.”

Love. You swear the atmosphere completely changed. Your body is released from its rigid position. You turn to John and run your thumb over his nose smiling. “I love you too.”

You should have known before. This emotion you have for John: flushed or love it doesn’t matter. This feeling makes you stronger not weaker. Human and troll culture won’t disagree with that. He gives you something to hold on to, to trust and protect. Someone who’ll stand by you and your mistakes; you’ve mentioned a few already. It’s why you’ve been able to get past all the harassment this city throws at you. It’s because you go through it together. Together, nothing can get in your way. 

The more you think about this, the more you realize that you’ve loved John longer than you’ve known.

A few months later you move in together. 

You shared the payment on a new house in the north side of Skaia where new houses are being built. The houses are cheap up here because a forest was recently cleared for expansion of Skaia. So it’s come and get them while they’re cheap. 

You keep your old job while John shifts careers to a construction worker to keep a steady income flowing.

And when you both have finally settled in, Mr. Egbert drops by to see you.

Mr. Egbert being John’s father who has yet to meet you. 

John has only informed Mr. Egbert that he’s “Met the most beautiful girl in Skaia, and I can’t wait for you to meet her Dad!” After a small talk, dinner at your house is set.

You guess if John wasn’t so embarrassed about his failure as a comedian he would have talked to his father more and shared more details.

And you were already nervous to begin with.

“Dad!” John shrieks wrapping his arms around his slightly shorter father. You watch from the kitchen as they embrace. 

Mr. Egbert comes in in a well-dressed business suit. He removes his fedora, revealing his greying hair, and places it with his coat on the rack. Then John leads his father to the dining room with the meal set and where you wait patiently beaming a large smile. You shall be the best at first impressions.

Mr. Egbert stops walking immediately; that should have been your first clue.

“I don’t understand,” he wonders aloud. “Where is your girlfriend John?”

John starts to frown and panic, “This is her. My girlfriend is Vriska.”

You stick out a hand to greet him. It is never received. 

“I thought-“ Mr. Egbert stops.

“Thought what?” John questions.

“I thought she was a woman.”

“Why does that matter?”

“Because,” Mr. Egbert raises his voice, “I thought I taught you to like women!”

“What is wrong with you? You supported mixed species marriages in Skaia!”

“That doesn’t mean I want my son to go date a troll!”

John squints his eyes, “She’s not some troll. She is Vriska. My girlfriend that I love very much.”

“Don’t say that John.”

“Why not? I tell her every night.”

“Don’t you want kids John? To be a man and care for them?”

You flinch, you’ve had this conversation with John and you know how much it pains him that you can’t give him children.

“We’ve talked about it and can manage it. And what kind of man would I be if I couldn’t stand with the person I loved?”

“You say that now, but when you get older you’ll feel differently. You’ll want to hold your own in your arms.”

“Vriska and I think adoption would work just as fine!”

“Oh? So you’re going to wait years to adopt a human baby? Or will you take the easy way and get a troll? Either way your ‘girlfriend’ will have no nurturing instinct. They don’t raise children. Humans do! She might try to have your ‘child’ fight others as a way to deal with the world! Is that what you want?”

“You underestimate us Dad!”

“Well I’m sorry son, but I can’t accept this. What would your mother and grandmother think?”

“They died in a car crash!”

“By a troll driver!”

“That was an accident!”

“That troll could’ve saved them! But no, he abandoned them to bleed out.” John lowers his head, and even Mr. Egbert appears to have some regret but stays by what he said.

“Not all trolls are like that.”

“They are born violent killers. They’ll die violent killers. Can you trust that ‘she’ hasn’t killed someone?” You clench your jaw. “She might even lie to you to say otherwise.”

John backs away to your side, “I’m not abandoning her.”

“If that’s what you’ll stand by.” Mr. Egbert heads to the door with you and John barely following behind. He grabs his hat and coat, “I’m sorry son, but I am not proud of you.” And he leaves.

You’ve stayed silent throughout the whole fight.

John moves back to the dining room to grab a seat and some food. You watch him angrily dig in to some mashed potatoes.

He turns back to you, “What? I’m not going to let this go to waste.” John keeps his scowl on and motions you to sit with him. 

You take the seat across from his and wait. John spends a few minutes in quiet fury before talking to you again, “Are you going to say anything? Why didn’t you speak up before?”

You’ve had something to say, but are scared of the consequences. “John, I think you’re dad has a point.” You’ve always thought that with John no one could stand in your way, but you’ve been crushed under a shiny black shoe.

“What!? How can you say that Vriska?”

“He is your dad John, and there is truth to what he said.”

“Truth? He wants us to break up!” John looks at you befuddled, “Do you want to break up?”

You sigh, “John there’s always been shit happening in this relationship. Do you want your dad to dump you along with everyone else?”

“Vriska, why are you giving up?”

“I can’t give you kids.”

“We can adopt.”

“You know that won’t work. I can’t raise a troll and neither can you! And no orphanage would want to give us their human baby. Not with these guidelines.”

“Again Vriska, why are you giving up? You don’t give up. You spent months just trying to get me a gig and I know you’re still going even though I gave up.”

“I’m giving up because you can do better John!”

“Don’t say that. Don’t let my dad-“

“I’m a psychic John!” That stops him.

You move to the front door grabbing your coat and leave him behind.

The streets of upper Skaia are almost completely bare, so you have time to yourself. 

You wander aimlessly about until you reach a small street bench. You sit down and rub your face. 

You’re a fucking idiot! Why did you tell him? You had planned to never tell him, and now he’s probably calling the police to arrest you! You screwed everything up! It’s all your fault! Allllllll of it!

You’re kidding yourself, you did what you wanted to do. John will leave you and go back to his father. He’ll have the life he deserves. And you’ll go back to the scum of the streets.

You reach into your coat pocket where you leave your cigarettes; one is picked out and- you don’t have a lighter. Great, fucking great, just fucking great. You can’t smoke, you’re hungry, and the man you love is afraid of you now. Way to go Vriska, you just had to leave with style like those movies. Maybe John was right about how cheesy they are.

Maybe John was right about a lot more tonight. But you just had to fuck everything up. Your life was starting to get comfortable, but Vriska Serket can’t have that! Oh no, you have to make everything go back to the toilet and start again from scratch. What a moron.

Well you have no choice but to go back. According to troll culture, you should take the consequences with honor and not hide from them. Though there’s also you’re weak so go get killed. 

So you head back to the house and open the door surprised to see it unlocked. John should’ve locked it to keep you out. Maybe he thinks you can open it anyways.

The house is silent except for some noise in the living room. You slowly walk there and see John watching the beginning of Con Air.

“Hey,” he says not looking back.

“You’re watching Con Air?”

“Yeah, I-I’m in the mood. Do you want to join?”

“Sure,” you move around the couch to sit by him still keeping some distance. “I thought you hated this movie?”

“But you love it.” 

“Okay.” You’re not sure what that means.

Ten minutes later John speaks up again, “What kind of psychic.” He doesn’t look at you.

“I can read people emotions and influence trolls.”

“Did you ever hurt someone?”

Did you? “Only really bad once.”

“Do you think they deserve it?”

You clear your throat, “No. However I probably wouldn’t tell them that.”

“Okay.” He stops talking for a while.

Near the end of the movie, John talks again, “Do you still love me?”

You stare at him, “I should be asking that.”

“I’m not the one that left.” Ouch, he’s got you there.

“I do love you, but I don’t want you to lose who you are.”

“Vriska,” John turns to look at you, “you are a part of me. And you leaving me will not change that. It’ll only make me emptier.” He stands up and grabs a magic eight ball from behind the television set. “I know you break these things, so how about instead of breaking them, you use it?” John hands the black orb to you, “Ask it about our relationship. Should we continue or not?”

You stare down at the eight painted on the ball. Would John seriously bet your relationship on this shitty thing? Maybe if it says no it won’t be so bad.

You start to shake it, “Should John and I stay in this relationship?” You flip it over and gasp.

It reads, “Will you marry me?”

“Whaaaaaaaat?” You turn back to John who is down on one knee.

“Keep shaking it Vriska because I’m going to keep asking.” He pulls out a small box and opens it to an engagement ring. It’s simple; exactly what you want in this relationship. “I was hoping my dad would be here, but it won’t change my mind. And I figured that even if the magic ball broke you could read it.”

You’re baffled, “But John, how would we even-“

“Hey, I want you to promise me something. Promise me that no matter what, you’ll keep working for us to get married. I know that with your ambition on our side, anything is possible. So will you, Vriska Serket, marry me?”

You fall down of the couch and into John making both of you crash on the floor, “Yes! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes! I will marry you!”


	7. Chapter Seven

Your name is Vriska Serket and you are engaged to John Egbert, human. You flip your hair back fighting the sun’s heat as you walk eagerly to your fiancé’s work place.

There is a small lot of land not far from where you live that has a house being constructed. John works there hammering this and that to the structure, he’s handy at it. You wish better for him though, like how his coworkers don’t converse with him. Not many people do, and it is because of your relationship with him. But John always smiles past them telling you that it’ll get better.

You sigh thinking about him. John is waiting for you to pick him up so you can meet a clergyman in another city that supports your type of relationship. It has proven very difficult to get married. You even tried a petition to change the law here. But nothing will work for Skaia, so another city will have to do.

You spot John less than a block away. Your pace quickens and your fiancé notices you before you can reach him. John hammers a nail into a window frame and then signals his boss about leaving. He takes off his equipment and smiles at you through the opening. You wait outside at the front lawn watching him open the door and-

Collapse.

John collapses down to the ground with a loud thud. A brick leans on his head splattered with blood.

You run to him. So do others. Sirens come, but not soon enough you guess. Was there anything they could really prevent or save? 

It’s your fault. You shouldn’t have come. You should have avoided him or came a minute later. John’s coworkers take the responsibility, but you know it’s your fault. Always your fault.

Here you are now, sitting down next to John’s hospital bed, with your face in your hands. You use John’s heart pacer to keep your own heart under control.

“Ms. Serket?” A green blood lightly knocks on your door frame. “I’m back with his results.” You sit up and pay attention to him through your tear stained eyes. “It’s not good. We are able to keep him alive, but we don’t know if we can wake him up. It’s up to him.” “What are his chances?”

“Low right now and they’ll only go down as time moves on. We have him stable right now and with our technology we can keep him like that, but only time will tell.” The doctor walks over to the other side of the bed. “Your insurance doesn’t cover for very long however.”

“So?”

“So we can’t keep him alive if there’s no finance.”

Did the weight of the world fall on your shoulders just then? “I see.”

“You have the first month before you need another source. I’ll leave you to figure out when to cut his life support.” The troll leaves you alone, but you swear you should’ve clawed his face while he was in here.

He doesn’t understand. Nobody does. You can’t let John die. You can’t! But you look back on your love and brush a wave of hair back. What would he want? Do you want him to suffer? You don’t know.

You groan into your hands irritated. Where’s your pack? You reach into your pocket and pull out a cigarette and lighter only for a nurse to pass by and nag the items back into your pocket.

Your head lowers to John’s practically still side. You softly move his hand to hold yours trying to recreate the squeeze he would give you. You whispered his name over and over hoping just hoping he will hear you.

He doesn’t wake up.

It was almost midnight when Mr. Egbert arrived.

“Oh God John!” The man rushes to the bed and crouches down. “No please God no. Not him. Why him?” Tears stream down his face as he collapses his head next to the pillow.

You want to fight him. To tell him to back off. But you have no right or even the will to bring forth your words. Instead you leave the two and wander the hospital.

Your own legs take you through corridors and stairways. It isn’t until you find an object of interest when you stop.

A middle aged woman is seen through a window being cared for by a nurse. The nurse moves away from the female and leaves the room. She turns to you, “I’m sorry, do you know the patient?”

You purse your lips before speaking, “Yeah.”

“You can go talk to her. The poor woman hasn’t had any company yet.”

“Thanks.” You slowly walk inside and pull a chair beside the seemingly asleep woman. You cautiously move your hand over to her face to gently touch the wrinkles and lines detailing her.

The woman rouses, “Hmm?” She carefully shifts to view you better, “Vriska?”

“Hey Amelia.” You can scarcely handle how much she’s changed over the years. Her hair has greyed in bunches, and she has lost the color in her cheeks. Amelia raises a boney hand to touch your face. 

Tears start to run down her face, “I thought I would never see you again. I guess God does grant me my last wish.” 

“Wh-What do you mean?”

“I’m dying Vriska, I only have a few hours left the doctors tell me. All those years I neglected my body finally caught up to me. The doctors have been watching me for the last few days.”

“There’s nothing that can be done?!”

“Shh Vriska, it’s alright. It means the world for me that you’re here and that I can take this chance to redeem a bit of myself.” This day is becoming too much for you. 

You make another grab for your cigarettes hoping to have an inhale before someone catches you. Amelia stops you.

“Don’t smoke Vriska.”

You grumble, “You smoked.”

She chuckles a raspy one, “And look at me now! Oh Vriska, smoking only temporarily masks your problems, but you can’t avoid them forever.”

“What?”

“Why are you here Vriska? I know you haven’t tried to reach me in years, so why are you here in the hospital?” You dig your nails into your thighs. “Please Vriska, tell me what’s wrong. Let me be the mother you should have had.”

You lift up your left hand, “I’m getting married.”

“Oh Vriska, I’m so happy. I only wish I could be around to see you walk down the aisle.”

“Yeah I would like that too; to have you there and to get married.” You take a deep breath, “My fiancé is in a coma after an incident today. The doctor doesn’t have much faith that he’ll get out of it.” You bring your raised hand to your face to cover your streaming tears, “I don’t know mom. I don’t know what to do. There’s so many . . . I don’t know if I can go on without him. I shouldn’t have gotten so attached to him! This has to be the world’s way of saying ‘Vriska, stay the fuck away from him! You don’t deserve any fucking happiness!’”

“Vriska what’s wrong? Why are you acting like this?”

You sigh, “His name is John, mom. I’m in love with a fucking human.”

“Oh Vriska,” she moves your hands away from your face, “It’s okay.”

“No it’s not! You think I would have learned after your affair.”

“Learn what?” she asks. “To be with someone you love and not to let others put you down? That was the mistake I made, don’t make the same. You will fix this. Why? Because that is who you are. You don’t let others put a barrier around you. Break their limits and reach yours. I could tell that much while watching you grow up.”

“Mom,” you don’t know what else to say.

“Live your life the way you want to. Don’t let anyone stop you. Do it for yourself, for your fiancé, and do it for me. So that I won’t have this burden on my heart that my daughter can never achieve happiness.” You give a small smile and tightly wrap your hand around hers. “If there’s anyone I can bet my money on, it’s you.” You almost laugh at her enthusiasm. 

“H-How much longer to you have again?”

She lays her head down resting, “About an hour or two.”

“I want to spend it with you.”

Amelia starts to cry again but scoots over to a side of the bed, “Can you lay beside me?” You comply and rest next to her, and you even discover that Amelia is smaller than you. The woman runs her fingers slowly in your hair, “Just like the good days. I can’t imagine a better end.”

You snuggle up next to your mother, “I love you mom.”

“And I love you.”

After 74 minutes of silence, those became Amelia Vine’s last words.

A doctor walks in to inform you that you have to leave so the body can be taken to a morgue. You watch them as they wrap her body and depart. In the near future, you’ll be one of the few people to attend her funeral.

But in the present, you walk back to John’s room and find Mr. Egbert actually waiting for you. 

“How much?”

“What?”

He sighs, “How much money is needed to keep him alive?”

You grip a chair trying to keep balanced as the recent events have not been easy for you, “I don’t understand.”

“Do you want to let John go?” he asks earnestly.

“No.”

“Then how much is needed to keep him stable? I want to help.”

You stare at him before answering, “None.”

“I’m sorry?”

You’re going to regret this aren’t you? “Yeah our insurance covers this. We’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

You know the risks. You don’t have enough money to keep John around forever, but you can’t let his dad take over. It pains you to think of the consequences. Mr. Egbert would have evidence that you can’t care for John and end up taking him from you. You would be weak.

Fuck it, you’ll save John yourself. John and your mother are right; you do have what it takes. “Yes, I’m sure.” 

“If you insist, I’m going to stay for a few more minutes and then come by again another day. I’m going to keep visiting my son.”

You can’t stop him from that. “Sure.”

“I’m sorry but I want a few more minutes alone with John.”

“Fine,” you force out of your mouth. You’ll have your time with your fiancé later. 

You exit out of the room and sit down on a nearby bench. You fumble with your fingers instead of smoking.

Someone sits down next to you. “Good evening Vriska.” 

Confused, you turn your head to look at the man sitting next to you. He’s old and a White wearing a white suit and green shirt and tie. Bad combination; by that you mean you recognize the group that he is associating with.

“It is polite to address someone who has greeted you,” he continues after your silence.

“Yeah but I don’t know you.”

“But I know you.” 

So creepy. “Uhh . . .”

“Forgive me, I was your mother’s psychologist for the past few months.” Your mother was in therapy? “I am Dr. Scratch.” He holds a hand out that you hesitantly shake. “I am sorry to hear about Amelia’s passing.”

“Yeah it uh it sucks.” Please go away.

“And now it appears that your companion in there has undergo quite the obstacle. Leaving you with your own.” You give him a confused look. “Your finance, child.” 

“I don’t know what you think, but we’re just fine-“

“No you’re not. You miserable and you have no idea how to support either of you. And you are too insecure to ask for help. So I’m here to offer.” 

First rule when dealing with the Felt, never owe them favors. “I don’t need your help.”

“Not help, a job. One that’ll pay more than what you earn in a year.” 

“Wait really?”

“Indeed,” he pulls out a business card and a pen, “This is the amount for the first task.” Dr. Scratch hands the card to you and-Holy Grub shit do you like those numbers. “And there’ll be that or more for each additional task. Just use the number on the other side to call me.”

Don’t get ahead of yourself, “What sort of job?”

“A simple retrieving order. Simple for someone with your special abilities.”

“Special abilities?” Oh Grub how could he know-?

“Your spider mutation that excretes a certain material.”

“Oh.” 

“Are there any other capabilities that you own?”

“No! I’m perfectly normal with only a web butt!” Smooooooooth.

You swear the man smirks like he knows, “Well I believe your web can be constructed instead of being disposed of.”

“Constructed how?”

You can’t believe how much of a genius that man is. After a month of gathering web you had enough to create a pair of gloves and a mask. The material is breathable, form fitting, and great for masking any physical appearances. You actually got really good at your job after a few months, and raised enough money to keep John and yourself comfortable. 

However the simple “retrieving” job turned out to be stealing. Big surprise there. But it’s mostly strange pieces of data and you never get caught so no harm? Sometimes you have to use your psychic abilities to make a distraction or move a troll guard. This is okay, right? It’s helping John out, but would he even approve? No one’s getting hurt at least.

Until one night that is.

You fucked up. You fucked up. You fucked up. You fucked up. You fucked up. You fucked up. You fucked up. You fucked up!

You are running in some sort of chemistry lab holding a file with some stupid formula and two cops chasing after you. You can’t even tell if they’re trolls or not! You knock into one of the tables, “Shit!”

You turn around and can barely see in the dark that one of the cops is catching up to you. You run faster but not fast enough. Luckily for you that you know that.

When the cop is just about to snatch you, you grab a filled bleaker and toss the liquid into the cop’s face. A feminine screech echoes across the room, and she falls to the ground clutching her face. 

You look back only once more to see the other cop caring for his ally. What luck!

But you wonder, at what cost? You hurt someone. You promised John that you wouldn’t anymore. But you didn’t use your psychic powers so it doesn’t count! Right?

You meet your employer at a small bookstore where he greets you inside. 

“Excellent job as always Vriska. Now for your next assignment-“ But you’ve stopped listening.

You’ve hurt someone and it’s worse because you didn’t use your powers. You realize that using your powers was a horrible excuse to take advantage of others, because it’s assumed as much. But what you just did anyone could do. You’re no better. You’re no worse. You’ve only failed John. 

“I’m done.”

The man is surprised. 

“I’m done with this. I’ll keep John alive some other way.”

You walk out of the bookstore half wondering if Scratch will still pay you for that job.


	8. Chapter Eight

If you walked up to somebody on the street and asked them when they would cut off the one they love’s life support, what would they say? 

Would they give up after the first week? After the first month? The first three months? The first six months?

Or would they give up when they started to sell their personal belongings? When they sell the knitting needles their love gave them to some strange woman? How about when they sell the piano their love would play to you all night to someone who’ll use it as firewood for all they know? If not that then surely when they sell the house they had dreamed of growing old in with the one they love. Or as a last resort, the ring their love proposed with.

Would the life support be cut off when they are fired from their job because their boss thinks they are too obsessed? Or because the hospital is selfish and won’t let them sleep there, so they spend the first of many nights sleeping out in the cold and digging through garbage? Is that when they cut the life support? 

You’ve fallen far. The doctors tell you to give up; that he’s practically dead now. But you can’t. You just can’t take the risk and see if John can breathe on his own and force wake up. One of the nurses suggests that you go see a psychologist. Ha! She thinks you’re delusional. They’re the crazy ones. Don’t they see that John will wake up? He’ll rise up from his bed stronger than ever? You know better. That’s why you can’t let them sway you. No matter what, you hold on.

But it is difficult. Almost too difficult for you to stay the way John wanted. You barely regret abandoning the job you had with Scratch. In a moment of weakness you did return to him, or tried as he wasn’t at the bookstore.

There is some hope; there’s always hope. You’ve found a job at some shitty pizza place with a lower blood class boss. Grub what would Equius say? Wait, why do you care what he-You have truly fallen. Could you even ask him for money? Demand it maybe? You’ve seen the news; he’s the Chief of Police and that troll-Aradia-is a reporter. It curdles your blood to see that they’ve managed to have the relationship and their lives at the same time. It’s not fair. 

Argh, you can’t even show Equius weakness and demand money. You’ll have to make due on your own. 

Thinking of which, your job barely makes ends meet. Luckily your boss doesn’t mind if you come in smelling like trash; it matches the rest of the restaurant. 

With your situation you think it’s understandable to go back to your stealing, right? Is that what John would say? Just don’t hurt anyone this time.

You think that guy was just asking it. You look back a few hours ago.

You pulled up to a mansion that a maid opens up only to be pushed aside by a sea dweller.

“There you are!” he shouts accusatorily. “Grub, how can I expect to have pizza night with my loving matesprit if the stupid delivery troll takes fucking forever?!” Holy shit he sounds like a douchebag. 

You hold out the pizza box and bag of fish sticks, “Seventeen fifty.” 

The troll scowls at your lack of grace and searches his pockets, “Oh would you believe it but I left my wallet in my other pants.” He’s kidding right? You don’t have time for this.

“Listen asshole, I don’t have time for this shit.”

“Hold your tongue servant.” He grumbles to himself. “Follow me and don’t track in dirt.” The sea dweller motions for you to follow him inside up the stairs. If you weren’t so sick of this day you would have just stayed put, but fuck it and just get it over with.

You follow him up the stairs into a master bedroom. The bastard peels a section of carpet aside and continues to mutter to himself about “Fef always said to give to the poor.” 

He starts to brush his fingers alongside a hidden safe, and your blood starts heat up with excitement. It’s perfect. The asshole can’t even tell that you can easily tell his  
combination code with your vision. Wait, don’t do this to yourself, don’t catch the code. The combination is . . . 3-8-D-3-8-P-3-8-0-3-8-C. What kind of fucked up code is that? And Grub damn it you already have it memorized! Bad Vriska! You tell yourself. You don’t do this anymore.

He opens the safe and-whoa that’s a lot of jewelry. He reaches into the safe and pulls out a stack of money and pulls out a single twenty. “Here you go, I’m sure this’ll make more than enough. I hope the shine didn’t burn that freak of an eye that you have.” Is he seriously trying to patronize you? “Now for my change-“

You steal the twenty from his grasp, “Nope that’s tip.” You hand him the food and leave while making note of structure and security of the building. You think these rich, greedy, snooty fish can spare some jewels.

So when the night arrives, you come back prepared with your old disguise. You sneak pass the guards and into the building. Your body clings to the wall as you climb up the ceiling to the stairs and soon enough to the master bedroom. You are only side tracked once by that sea dweller flirting with a maid. You use your psychic abilities to have her stomp on his feet. You keep from laughing aloud at his befuddlement. 

Once near the bedroom entrance, you stare at the female sea dweller sleeping in her bed. What a princess. You bring a hand to your forehead once again to put her into a deep sleep. Ha, she snores. 

You enter inside clinging closer to the wall to eventually cover the only camera that you would have no way to avoid. By using web, it will mask the camera and dissolve by the time Princess wakes up, and she won’t notice. 

You lower yourself to the floor and remove the carpet. The code is used and the jewels are inserted into a web sack. You make a quick exit back to your hideout in an alley. There’s no way anyone will catch you.

But fuck you because the next day someone did.

Some Nancy Drew that’s breaking in her police badge sleuths you out. What the hell? To make it worst she brings along a collection of Skaia’s finest including: Princess Fish, some troll that’s had her noise scrunched up from the smell of the disposed pizza, a dork troll that has two colored spectacles, a short troll that looks like he’s about to explode by Drew’s accusation, and worst of all Chief of Fucking Police, Equius Zahhak. He’s sweating so much he might as well give away that he knows you. Way to be discrete.

So the little brat nailed you on your crime, are you getting rusty? Seriously, what is with this little bitch? The only thing she fucked up is that you used poison to knock out Princess, but you can’t correct her on that. You practically had to hold your hand back to keep from grabbing her skull and bashing it on the floor. 

It’s only when she explains that she’ll arrest you when you come back to your senses and get the fuck out of there. You should have run out of the city, but you know that you can’t abandon John. So you run to him for your finale moments of freedom; there’s no other way you would rather spend them.

So of course they catch you, the two cops practically waltz in. The woman wonders who he is and the troll reads that John’s been asleep for eight months. Has it really been that long? 

You can’t believe the break that is handed to you; the woman actually wants to hear your story. Give you a chance. And it actually works. You’ve always had a flair for the dramatic speeches; why don’t people appreciate them more? 

While the troll tries to fight her, the woman claims that Princess has the final say as it’s her crime that she filed. Thank you corrupt troll hierarchy. 

So they send in Princess, and you realize that you need to work a little harder for this. You pretend to be exasperated and throw your hands to your head. It creates a subtle way for you to control her. You tell her your story, but you increase her emotions. You bring out all sentiments she has of being abandoned, desperate and lonely. 

It works perfectly. 

Princess sucks it up and explains a deal to you; you get a job working for those cops but you’ll at least have a stable job. She’ll even help pay off John’s hospital bills, so you can get your life back together. Overall you would call it a success.

Even for Princess since you heard she asked out the cop with the stupid glasses. Whoops, guess you influenced her a bit too much.

When you are later alone with Equius you mess with him a bit; remind him who’s still in charge. Seeing him scared to a perspired puddle brings a smile to your face. Good to know where you both still stand.

Working for Officers Harley and Vantas is simple enough. You do a little bit of work and barely keep them organized. You actually prefer Off-Jade to anyone, more than anyone else in a long time. She doesn’t push you too much and she actually pretends to care, or she’s being earnest. 

You still manage to see John every morning; which consequently causes you to be late to work. However you don’t tell anyone why you are late.

It’s not long before your secret is revealed. Aradia just had to get kidnapped didn’t she? So you just had to save the day and share your history with Jade and Karkat. You don’t think Equius was even grateful. To make matters worse, Aradia attacks you. Great, now Freak-Blood Vantas and Shut-In Jade know that you have both have psychic powers. 

Yet they both surprise you by not exposing you.

Which is why you don’t expose them, the caution Karkat hides does not go past you when he handles the paper to prevent minor injuries. Even Jade tries to hide, but it’s practically written on her face that this world confuses her like deodorant confuses Equius. You’ve saw her break when she took you home after that incident. Your ‘break down’ scared her too much as evident to the look on Jade’s face. You doubt Jade knows what’s it’s like to spend nights drinking the pain away. They both try to hide, but you know.

Life stays calm until someone runs into you again. 

You were just leaving John to head for work when Scratch sneaks up behind you. “I see that you haven’t improved much from the first time I found you here.”

You back up to the wall, “What are you doing here?”

“You should relax more Vriska, what would happen to unfortunate John if you had a fatal heart attack?” You snarl. “Again, put yourself at ease. I’m not here to confront you, merely to check up on you. I thought we worked well together before, so I wanted to see how you live without me.”

“I’m never helping you again.”

Scratch chuckles behind his hand, “Vriska, who do you think you are in this?”

“What’s this?”

“The game. Do you actually think you’re on the same level as me? No, you’re merely a disposable pawn, now working with other pointless pawns where you think you belong. Do you think you are repairing the damage that you’ve caused your whole life?” He directs a smile at you that sends shivers down your spine. “Officer Vantas and . . Harley is it? I’m sure that I’ll meet her soon.”

You clench your hands to your sides, “If you even think of hurting her, I swear I’ll-“

Scratch points to the wall clock behind you, “Watch the time Vriska, someone is bound to go if you waste your life in this hospital.”

Almost panicking, you bolt out of the hospital to the rust on four wheels that is your car. You drive as fast as you can worrying that Jade might actually be hurt.

You are going to make it for once on time but you hit someone near the department. “What the hell?!” you scream while grasping the wheel to keep from swerving. You’re tempted to look back, but the loser should have paid attention to the road.

And that ended up costing you a week playing sitter. 

Honestly you would choose not to dwell on that memory, that baby wiggler of a troll was a little too much to tolerate. Pushing him down some stairs might have done him some good.

But you were finally reunited with Jade and Karkat at a bar. They informed you of their week and how they had fallen on their case when Scratch got in the way. You tell Jade to stay away from him and you actually care whether she listens to you or not. 

You decide afterwards to spend more time with Jade, that way you can make sure Scratch doesn’t hurt her. That . . That makes sense. 

So when Jade invites you to go drinking with her and Princess; you consent after some phony, hesitant struggle. But in ends up a whole group joins you, and you are not okay with that.

It’s one situation if it’s just the three of you, but it’s completely different with Kanaya, Terezi, and some Rose girl that Jade told you about tagging along. It’s just too many people that you don’t like hogging the attention.

Kanaya acts weird around you, and sometimes you just want her to back off! You’re not some pathetic wiggler that she thinks you are. 

Rose talks weird and annoying. And how Jade could ever think to befriend her is beyond you. 

Now Terezi is something entirely different. For some reason, she does not like you. You don’t know what you did to piss her off, but she constantly antagonizes you.

But worst of the lot is this Feferi troll. You don’t care that she paid for like the whole evening, she has no right to steal allllllll of the attention! And Jade just gave the “Oh poor you” spiel and acted like she cared.

You preferred when Jade was focused only on you.

And Jade should be focused more on you! Look what happened when she tried to help Aradia at the banquet. She nearly got killed! It infuriates you that Aradia came close to seriously damaging Jade. How dare she! You’re glad that you keep your eye on her.

You feel horrible that Jade was rattled afterwards. You prefer when she has that spark. 

Wait a second, do you really feel that way?

You turn lonesome when Jade departs for vacation. Then words were said around the department that caused you to visit John earlier than usual.

“Hey,” you say to his slumbering body. You grab a seat next to his bed and start to brush his hair back, “I realized that I don’t usually visit you at this time.” Grub, you wish he would answer you. “I-I’ve wanted to talk to you about something really concerning me. I really miss you and I want you here to help me.” You swallow back to keep calm. “Jade, the officer that I’m working for, she’s special. I-I-I think that I have feelings for her. But it’s strange. It’s not the type of feelings I was supposed to feel for my lusus. Not the type I felt for my mom. Nor the-ahem-type I felt for my mentor that I told you about. And-“ You reach for his hand, “They are definitely not the same feelings I share for you. She’ll never be able to replace you John. But there is something. Something red I feel towards her. But it’s also paler than what I feel towards you. I think I really love her, as a friend. An-And when she comes back from vacation I think I’ll tell her. Maybe give our relationship a title.” You listen to the still air, hoping for some form of communication to come from John. Nothing happens. “But I promise you John, I won’t give up trying to help you. I’ll never give up.”

You stay there as long as you can until the nurse tells you to leave.

Jade returns the same day as Karkat; Kanaya mention some sort of ‘shenanigans’ happening with the vacation arrangements. Since you arrived so late, you are one of the last people to greet Jade in the department. So seeing your opportunity to talk to Jade, you walk over there and stare at her.

That wasn’t a good idea as it spooked Jade. “Uh Vriska, are you okay?” 

You open your mouth to tell Jade, “Of course I’m fine,” or “Can we go talk somewhere private,” or at the very least, “It’s great to see you again,” you can’t believe you missed the opportunity to say, “I hope Karkat wasn’t crabby on the trip!” Hehe, Jade would have laughed at that terrible joke; John too. 

But instead no words come out of your open mouth; which again scares Jade. “Should I call Kanaya? Vriska? What do you think is going on Karkat?”

Before anyone can answer her, you pull her into your arms for a tight, embracive hug. She is startled but returns the affection. It’s not time to tell her. You need to prove that you can be a beneficial moirail to her too.

Karkat stares up at you from his seat annoyed, “You are not hugging me.”

You say nothing back but instead enjoy the touch of a true friend.

**Author's Note:**

> Gamzee's lusus is a level nine. Gl'bgolyb is a level ten.


End file.
